Corporate Terrorism
Florida’s new execution policy for capital crimes, lethal injection, needs to be implemented for the numerous corporations’ personnel who have deemed it necessary to spend their tax-deductible monies on the corporations' websites – websites that glow in the dungeon of two travesties: advertising and customers paying their bills online.
There is nothing more despicable in our advanced age of technology than having to put a 44-cent stamp on an envelope to pay a bill. I wallow in delight in paying bills online; however, I wobble with insane disgust when I am charged for this “privilege.” Invariably, this “privilege” is in microscopic print under an additional, amoeba-sized banner, “Service charge,” “access fee,” – or, as our unscrupulous automobile dealerships euphemize it, “Administration fee.” (Will we soon have to pay a rental fee for the shopping cart at Wal-mart?)
We are blindly being plagued with a subtle, socioeconomic shift in values from our corporate-world, Gestapo dictators: “You, the customers give us your millions and we will ecstatically accept it, but we will instantly pass the cost of doing so along to you at whatever price we deem fit for giving you the privilege of giving us your money.”
Only a few decades ago, computers were geek toys in an arcane world inhabited by only a few. Then they were made “user-friendly,” but still remained, due to their high price tags, purposely causing windfall profits for the manufacturers, out of reach for the average working-class citizens. To have a computer in the home was a pure luxury, affordable only to the wealthy. Computer manufactures vied in the vicious fiscal world for the potential massive profits.
The corporate world, those darling folks who gave us junk bonds, Enron, and the infinite loan scandals and scourges, dictate to all us Americans we must have a computer to survive. We Americans, comparable to the blind, innocent Jews walking naked to their gas chambers, quietly succumbed to the dictate, and our lives are now extinguished when our computers fail us, especially for such glorious activities as paying bills online.
The convenience of such processes still reigns in this love-hate domain: The process of paying a bill online, as devised by the corporate demons, pre-assumes four requisites: 1-I have a computer; 2-It is totally functional; 3-My server is flawless; 4-The website is error-free and current.
Interesting facts: Forbes magazine recently published the shocking news: Even though the retail prices of the major-brand computers on the market had dropped significantly, due to the manufacturers’ competition, only two out of five households in America had a computer. Technological Times also published a startling fact: Most home computers have an average “down time” of ten days – time waiting for the arrival of parts or of the local tech shop to repair the computer.
An additional fact that increases my insanity with online bill-paying is the total failure of all the websites to give the paying customer access to converse with a human being. The “contact us” icon that is provided is a glorified smoke screen. Either the customer is given an e-mail address which will return a formulated, robotic response within seconds, informing the customer that “because of the volume of e-mails,” a reply may be expected in the next 10 business days” (which invariably translates into six weeks) or a toll-free number is presented, which when dialed, is “no longer in service” or it has been replaced by a full daytime-priced-long-distance number. The customer is then forced to listen, as the per-minute, long-distance time clock continues clicking, to 18 different menus, none of which addresses the customer’s problem. If a correct menu is provided by some Fate’s miracle, the customer is informed that all personnel “are busy right now,” and “Your call will be taken in the order it was received.”
Last week, I had the memorable pleasure of being kept on hold for 22 minutes. A receptionist, dripping with sweetness, finally answered: “How may I help you?”
“Maam, I have to ask before we begin: Are you folks really that busy at 7 p.m. whereby I have to be kept on hold for 22 minutes?”
“Yes, Sir,” she replied. “In fact, this is the busiest time of the day, ‘cause probably like yourself, it is 
the time that people get home from work. While at work, they either can’t call or don’t want to because of the number of extensions in the building.”
“Never thought about that,” I replied, “but if I call between 9 and 5, I still get put on hold.”
“Probably, Sir,” she replied, still not showing any irritation at my blunt queries, “but we can only do what we can with the number of people we have.”
“Exactly how many do you have to handle the implied massive calls in your Customer Service Department?”
“Two, right now, Sir. Sometimes three, but that’s usually during the holiday season. How can I help you?”
The long-distance charges prevented me from giving my lengthy desired response, so I briefed it: “Have your CEO sacrifice a microscopic portion of his 8-figure salary and hire about 25 more receptionists.” Putting my disgust aside, I related the problem: “Your website keeps giving me my wife’s cell-phone balance, even when I enter my own password on my own account. I am trying to access only my own account on my own phone.”
"Is your wife's account separate from your own?"
“Yes. They are two different accounts with two different passwords.”
“Are you sure you are entering your own account with your own password?
”Absolulutely. I have been doing it for over 18 months with no problem."
“Let me give you," she answered, "the number for our technical support on our website.”
“Isn’t this the number I called?”
“No, Sir. This is the company’s headquarters in Maryland.. Our website is generated from Dallas, Texas, our billing center is in Salt Lake City, and our technical help is situated in Los Angeles. Be patient when you call, remembering that they are 3 hours behind us, putting you right at the end of the busiest time of the day.”
“I hope the number you’re going to give me is toll-free.”
"No, Sir, it isn't. The company discontinued it because we were told it was not cost effective."
WJK-6/09
